Even If MY Voice Shakes...

A long time ago, I decided to start writing this blog because I was mistreated. I got ready one morning, slipped on my Charles David wedges, the strappy gold ones that coordinated nicely with my white, crisp cotton summer shorts and breezy, loose fitting light blue top with the gold detailing and Swarovski crystal adornments around the bustline from Sky Couture, (a favorite that I bought at Electric Ladyland); my tan was golden; my hair was highlighted, my bronzer was on, and my lipgloss was poppin', yo'.

That might have been more information than you needed, but I thought I'd give you a clear mental image of what I was workin' with.

I went to my salon at the time, Dolce, and the front counter girls were total bitches to me. Not only were they incredibly rude to me, even my hairdresser had to apologize for the comments they made, and they lost the little cardigan I had brought along with me in case it got cold, and didn't even apologize. I didn't respond by throwing a bitch fit. No, I didn't even get an attitude. That, my friends, was the beginning of the end.

It was the beginning of me taking shit lying down. It was the beginning of me, compromising myself, and what I knew was WRONG, so that I could make other people happy. It was the start of being lazy and allowing myself to be complacent and be the victim instead of being the strong, empowered bitch who stands up and says, "Oh hell to the NO you did NOT just do me wrong, I'm taking BACK my power and I will NOT accept being mistreated, used, abused, or disrespected."

I wasn't raised to be this pathetic girl who lets her life fall apart. I was raised to move forward on a road, not get caught up in a bump, or, in my case, a big freakin' pothole.

I'm in a major life cul-de-sac. Professionally, personally, financially. So, I'm using my blog as a portal for changing that for myself. I've used this as a diary of my shopping hits & misses; the things I love & hate, things that I rave about, things that work, and things that just never will. I plan to use this my blog, from this point on, as a way to share with you exactly how I'm digging myself out of this mess otherwise known as my life.

Surely, if I have issues, 10 million other people do, too. And if they do, their friends do. Why are more people not HONEST about this kind of shit? I hate when everyone thinks the solution to their problems is to be all 'self-help aisle, sunshine and flowers, life is just picture-perfect, I just caught some lemons, lets all make freakin' lemonade now,' about the whole thing. Just be real. Sometimes, life sucks. Sometimes, you hold your feelings in for so long, you want to scream, and cry, and you feel like you're bursting at the seams. Sometimes everything bothers you at one time and it just pisses you off, but you don't know WHO to talk to about it. And sometimes you feel almost GUILTY for feeling anything at ALL.

For anyone who's ever felt that way, but never felt right being brutally honest about it; for anyone who ever wanted to talk, but didn't have a voice; for anyone who wanted to admit they had a problem, and just wanted to blow the lid off that bitch and blow that shit wide open, this is for you.

We're going to solve my problems, and your problems, one day at a time.

And in between, I'll talk to you about the things I still love...like fashion, beauty, and shopping.

Even though, since one of my major life problems happens to be the D word right now (DEBT, not DICKHEADS, although I have problems with a few dickheads right now, too) I will not be shopping for quite some time, I will still feature all the best of the best on Dreaming in Dior, because you might as well enjoy all the creme de la creme, where shopping, beauty, and style is concerned.

So, topics we will cover...and the issues I'll work on:
--FINANCIAL MESSINESS: (i.e.--paying for all the shoes, Starbucks, 5-star hotels, Egyptian cotton bedding, expensive perfume, diamond earrings, & Amazon.com purchases I made over the past 5 years, as well as the HOSPITAL BILLS and MEDICAL EXPENSES I had to PAY FOR MYSELF because my EMPLOYERS did not reinstate my HEALTH INSURANCE.)
--HEALTH: Getting rid of these horrible migraine headaches so I no longer have to take these awful pills they've prescribed me, because I no longer can taste food. And I? Love cooking and baking more than Julia Child. One way might be for me to find something to do daily that actually makes me happy and joyful again.
--PERSONAL: Being honest about what I want. After I read the book "Eat Pray Love," the one thing that resonated with me was that she acknowledged that she had this emptiness inside herself and a void that needed to be filled. So often we KNOW what that void really IS. I actually KNOW what mine is. I just need to fill it...

If the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, consider this my first.

At least I can say I'm beginning my voyage in really cute shoes.