With a Bat of My Lashes

People often tell me I have enviable lashes. This is something I give full credit to my father for, because he literally has row after row of thick, dark, plush lashes. Since he's a man, and in his early sixties, nobody really gives a shit, including him, but I like to give credit where credit is due.

I really don't notice my lashes all that much, because I usually put my mascara on in the car, at stop lights, on my way to work. I give them one good coat of mascara and, on a special occassion, I curl my lashes.

But I am no fool.

I know that when I'm arguing with the man of the moment, and I bat my lashes a few times; when I'm two millimeters away from his face and I brush my lashes against his skin, he gets the chills (in a good way); and I know when I want to talk my way out of a speeding ticket, ask for a better table at a restaurant, or get drinks sent over for me & my girlfriends, all I need to do is use what my Daddy gave me: my eyelashes.

"I want a girl kinda like you," my former landlord once told me, when I was attempting to find him a lady friend. "Smart, thoughtful, who can cook and clean...and I want her to have eyelashes like yours."

Well, thanks for complementing my body, or the rest of my face, or the fact that I'm an impeccable dresser, buddy. But hey, eyelashes count for something.

Especially when half the population of women spend countless hours seeking out ways in which to make theirs significantly longer, thicker, and fuller.

This mascara from Christian Dior is the ONLY way to go if that's what you're lookin for. I tried it, since I'm a beauty junkie, and I can see why it has such a cult following amongst fashionistas and beauty connoisseurs alike. One coat of DiorShow and your lashes will look like you are bringing sexy back in a MAJOR way.

Be ready to get your way, sweet talk just about anybody, and win every argument you have with your lover.

And if you can perfect your sweet talking skills to potentially get you some jewelry out of him, please pass along your advice this way. My wrists are in need of some bling these days.