My Love Just Went Platinum

There are some dreams I've given up as time's passed and perhaps they lost meaning, or maybe weren't priorities anymore. There are some dreams I've watched come true, and then there are some I still hang on to, with everything inside my heart.

One of those dreams, for me, is motherhood. I know in today's society, it's seen as "uncool" or "unbecoming" or "old-fashioned" or even "desperate" for a woman to long to be a mother, especially if she's not married, but I think I've wanted to be a mom ever since I can remember. When I was a little girl, I nurtured my dolls and rocked them to sleep, and I'd tell my Dad at 3 years old how I'd have my own babies one day. It was always something I expected to happen.

Of course, I pursued my education, graduated from college and grad school, and worked hard in my career. I'm still working hard, even today. But no matter what has happened in my life, I've always held on to the dream of becoming a mom.

This past week, that dream was definitely tested, questioned, challenged. I landed in the hospital and my doctors were even fearful that I might not be able to ever have children, depending on how my operation turned out. I was so scared, and my biggest fear was not for my own health or life necessarily, but more than anything, scared of how I would handle losing that dream I had.

For people who don't want children, or who have them and don't really appreciate them as much as they should; for those who see them as a burden or a challenge that they sometimes resent instead of cherish--you won't understand where I'm coming from, and I understand. But for someone like me--someone who would make not only a good mom, but a pheonomenal mom--it really left me depressed.

As I watched Platinum Babies, a new show on We! Channel (Women's Entertainment Network) I could've been even more resentful. But the truth is, it gave me some hope. Not necessarily hope of receiving a Gucci diaper bag as a baby shower gift (although I'll admit that would be a definite perk that I would not refuse, friends) but hope that I would be able to one day have a little blessing from heaven of my very own.

I believe in miracles. I believe in blessings from above and I believe the Lord works in mysterious ways. I think that if anything, this experience revealed to me the things I really want in my life, and how much I really want to experience becoming a mother...and how much I want kids of my own. It also made me realize how strong I am. I never let myself give up on my other dreams. Why would I give up on this one?

Thank you to all my family and friends and even my students who were so incredibly supportive of me during this difficult time, and thanks to my doctors and nurses who were so patient and kind; you are such an amazing gift to the world and you were so gracious to help me when I needed it the most.

But mostly, thanks to my own Mom. If there's any one reason why I want to become a Mommy, it's because I truly have the best one I know.

Catch Platinum Babies on WE and check your local listings for details, so you can see what the world's most fashionable mommies are doing to prepare for the arrival of their little ones.