Question: Where the F Was Billy Ray?

Okay, I'm one of the most avid fans of ELLE Magazine; I love everything about the layout, the concept, and the vision; especially when Nina Garcia worked for ELLE. I wasn't particularly thrilled when Miley Cyrus was on the cover this month. I mean, I would hardly say she qualifies as a style icon. And I'm a total snob when it comes to who I believe should be a cover girl.

But how much did I want to effing scream when I watched footage of the Teen Choice Awards only to see Miley in all her skank-a-licious glory, dancing on a pole in a trashy outfit? I think I was more disappointed than anything else, maybe because I'm in my late twenties now, and not a little pre-teen girl obsessed with child stars.

I'm not hating; I take pole dancing classes, but I'm not on national television, either, and I'm not setting an example for little girls worldwide. Whether we admit it or not, ladies, we do set an example, not only with what we choose to wear, but also through our actions and body language. And now, more than ever, young girls need to know what being a lady is all about.

Miley, honey, you got some 'splaining to do, babe. I'd love to be your stylist, send me an email, pronto. Nobody wants you to morph into Britney, that would just be too tragic for words.

And ladies, on a parting note: please, for the love of Jesus, do not try to recreate this look at home, kids. It wasn't stylish last night, and an outfit that could lead to showing your "Britney" all over national television and the world wide web is in poor taste, girls. Hannah Montana, let me give you a style education.