Good Vibrations

If any one woman in America defines the word 'recessionista,' it would be me.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Lori, you shop more than any woman I know."

This is true. But I also clip coupons and find bargains better than any woman I know.

Items like mascara, I learned in my stint as a makeup artist which lasted several years, are a must-have beauty item that belong in any woman's makeup bag, but sometimes it's honestly not worth paying $24 for a tube of black magic that you'll have to throw out after a month or two, anyway. (Any woman who keeps mascara longer than that is asking for a nasty ass stye or eye infection. And that is not pretty, honey.)And truth be told, you can usually achieve the same look with a cheaper mascara as you can with a costly one. (My Mom swears she gets prettier, longer lashes with the pink and green tube of Maybelline mascara, a classic beauty staple, as she does with Definicils from Lancome, and I can honestly attest to the truth behind her claim.) Eyelashes are like perky boobs, ladies. You've either got 'em, or you don't. You can throw 'em in a fancier package, but no matter what, you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit.

When I clipped a $5 off a $10 purchase coupon for Ulta, coupled with their beauty deal--buy one, get one half off on all Maybelline New York products, I was super excited because I wanted to try the new Maybelline Pulse Perfection Vibrating Mascara. Since the mascara is $12, I got two tubes for $18, and then $5 off of that price. ($13 for two mascaras that work like a charm is a true bargain.)I've tried the Lancome Oscillating Mascara, in the $25 price range, and it not only failed to impress me the way the Maybelline one did, (the brush was not as thick, so my lashes were nowhere near as plump or lengthy) it also never goes on sale, ladies. Why would you waste money on something so disposable, when you can get better results with something less expensive?


On a humorous note, my Dad watched in awe as I applied makeup one day, because he heard the tiny motor in the wand of the mascara. "I thought I'd seen it all," he said, "but I'm a mechanic, and I never thought you'd put a motor close to your eye." One of my male students watched me apply it in the hallway while chatting up my female students one morning before class, and could not figure out why I'd want mascara that vibrated. He shook his head in confusion. And yet another male--a guy I was dating--said he wondered if this was a sign that women just "like things that vibrate--ha ha ha." Yeah, jackass, as a matter of fact, we do, and if this tube of mascara was just a tiny bit bigger, it could take your place in a heartbeat.



To pick up your very own tube of vibrating mascara, check out Maybelline Pulse Perfection Mascara at an Ulta store near you, Walmart, or Target. Or, you can try Lancome's more expensive version, Oscillating Mascara, at a counter near you, or at stores like Sephora, Dillards, or Macy's.